Friday, July 10, 2015

Run, Ulysses, Run!


We are now cleaning up America of all our historical litter. We have removed flags, defaced monuments, voted to dig up graves, and demanded that certain movies not be shown. Gone with the Wind is under siege. There is so much more left to do.

Next to be given the axe is Forrest Gump. As everyone knows, Forrest was named after Civil War Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest. Forrest was also the first Grand Wizard of the newly formed Ku Klux Klan.

However, we believe that with a few tweaks, this movie can be redeemed.


Sunday, July 05, 2015

Bruthe & Jenny


This is the epic tale of two indomitable, heroic entities, Bruthe and Jenny, that inhabit the same body. Along with their sidekick smart car, Major Brokeback, they fight social justice wherever it may be found.

In their pursuit of relative truth, social justice, and the socialistic way, Bruthe and Jenny fight against the oppressive forces of the patriarchy, heteronormativity, rape culture, racism, global warming, the 1%, and similar evils. They are opposed and pursued by Teaparty Hogg, a racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, bigoted White Christian male chauvinistic pig and his minions.

When asked if they also fight against the ill treatment of women, gays, minorities, and non-comformists in other parts of the world, Bruthe and Jenny respond that other cultures are equal to ours and that the Prime Directive prohibits us "... from interfering with the internal development of alien civilizations."

The adventures of Bruthe and Jenny will make one forget all about The Dukes of Hazzard, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, the Constitution, and American exceptionalism.

Tune in.


Thursday, July 02, 2015

The Final Frontier


Disgrace: the final frontier. These are the escapades of the far-hip Liberalize. Its eternal mission: to perpetrate strange new worlds, to destroy bourgeois virtue and tradition, to boldly hamper freedom where no tyrant has gone before.


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Presidential Candidates Adapt to Supreme Court Ruling


Rumor has it that Republican Presidential contender, Lindsey Graham, has married Caitlyn Jenner. In addition to the fact that the Court ruling has allowed his love to win, Graham realizes that these nuptials will greatly increase his 'Hip-Cool Factor' among Millennials as well as allow him to have a steady First Lady in the White House during his Presidency. It is also a signal that President Graham is not afraid to make bold moves.

Not to be upstaged, Democrat candidate, Hillary Clinton announced that she and Bill have also married Ms. Jenner. Hillary realizes that this will give her blindly loyal supporters something to answer when asked to name a Hillary accomplishment.

And Ms. Caitlyn Graham-Rodham-Clinton-Jenner is again being praised for pushing the envelope of human freedom, rights, and equality into frontiers where no man has gone before. We distinctly smell a Nobel Peace Prize in her near future.

Rachel Dolezal could not be reached for comment.


Love Wins!


One of the recent Supreme Court decisions has made it clear that...



Thursday, June 25, 2015

Confederate Flag History


Basic point to understand in the creation of the battle flag...


Monday, June 22, 2015

The Controversial South Carolina Flag Has Nothing on Wisconsin's


Now that we have thoroughly humiliated South Carolina for daring to display a historical flag because of the evil actions of one man, we can move on to begin the guilt-tripping of the next target. We are a liberal, enlightened society and our deep psychological, politically correct insights into the souls of men must progress.

The next evil windmill against which we joust is the state seal on the flag of Wisconsin. At first look you see two men, a sailor and a miner, bookending a plow, pick and shovel, arm and hammer, and an anchor. Just below lies a cornucopia and stack of lead bars above 13 stars. Above is a badger and the motto, Forward.

Harmless historical symbols, right? WRONG!!

Here's what a deeper examination yields:

- The two persons pictured are both Straight, White, Christian MEN. One depicts a miner, rapist of Mother Earth. The other is a sailor holding a rope... and you minorities know what that means. These actually symbolize White privilege and rape culture.

- The plow and hammer/shovel also symbolize the willful destruction of the planet.  The lead bars prove that Wisconsin wants to kill children, women, and minorities with lead based paint and leaded gasoline.

- The arm and hammer symbolize corporate greed and heavy-handed abuse of workers.

- The cornucopia, horn of plenty, doubles up on the corporate greed theme as well as honoring the rich that earn their wealth by robbing the poor.

- The motto of Forward coupled with the U.S. coat of arms in the center shows that Wisconsin approves of American imperialism.

This has been only a quick perusal of what the symbols mean. Further examination will surely yield much, much more.

It is a well known fact that these symbols inspired the actions of the infamous Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer. I propose that the Wisconsin legislature heed the call and denounce this embarrassing state seal as an official symbol of Wisconsin.